2 weeks until the summer holidays!!

Monday

Missy is up and ready for another week of school, only two weeks left until the holidays so surely we’ll not have all this mayhem come the holidays. (Hahahahahah)

Barlinnie breakfast is served up. Ripped up as usual but I’m thankful for no dipping into the milk today. 

Missy has been with Daddy all weekend so keeps calling me daddy. I explain that I’m much more attractive and remind her of the differences between Mummy and Daddy. 

Breakfast on the whole was a painless affair today. Good job!! 

Time to get dressed and I ask her to get her vest and pants.  I have got t-shirt, skirt, tights and cardigan ready for her. “Mum, I’ve got a slong Leeve one.”

“Long sleeved you mean.?” She’s giggling away. 

“Well you’ve got a t-shirt on so not a long sleeved one pet.”

Goes away and comes back with a short sleeved, thermal vest, I explain that she’s probably going to bake, like the plain baked potato she has EVERY day for lunch, as it’s still warm although the sun has gone. So on attempt 3 we finally get a proper vest fit for occasion. We’ve had a reasonably nice morning so far but now the cheek has begun. 

She wants tucked in, which is how she should be dressed. So I tuck her in, she’s all chuffed but then turns around and pulls her skirt down allowing for the t-shirt to be untucked. This routine happens another twice until finally she realised that by pulling her skirt down she’s untucking herself. I tuck her in one final time. She then decides that it’s uncomfortable though and pulls it out again. Now the t-shirt is all creased where it has been tucked in. I explain that when she’s bigger she might have a uniform for work and she’ll need to wear it properly to be smart and School is the same. 

“When I’m big, I can wear what I want!” Oh god. Her inner teenager is already alive. She’s 5. Fml. Cheek of this nature continues. “I’ll just untuck it on the bus!”

“No you will not Missy, and I’m taking your new teddy off of you because of this cheek, I’ll keep him until you can show me that you’re not cheeky.”

“It’s not a him!” 

I now refer to the damn teddy as “it” for fear of getting it wrong! 

Aaaaarrgghhh!! 

Finally get her tucked in again and looking presentable and ready to brush the dreaded hair. I swear someone comes in in the middle of the night and ruffles it all out and pops a few knots in it just to make my life difficult. In fact maybe she does it herself so she can moan and shout at me. Someone’s out to get me anyway. 

“I don’t want my hair brushed!”

We’ve got a little bit of extra time so I do it really carefully ensuring not to tug her hair for fear of her explosion she’ll have if I do. 

“Same as yesterday please!”

Ok,  your royal highness. 

I hit a tiny eeny meeny tug, and again I hear “I DON’T WANT MY HAIR BRUSHED!!”

Tough. Shit. 

Finally done and she’s satisfied with the hairstyle today. We’re a little early so she decided to play a game. Except she wants to play catch which I suggest isn’t a good idea indoors. Before the words were even out of my mouth, Missy launches the ball across the room, hitting a bottle of water she was drinking last night. That would be fine if she hadn’t lost the lid so the water is now down the wall and down the back of the unit. Fan-bloody-tastic. But at least it’s just water right? 

Down to wait on the bus, get her cardigan and coat on. She has a quick play on her scooter before the bus comes. The bus arrives and I call her over to get her bag, which she tries to snatch it of my hand whilst shouting “give me my bag!” I retreat, bag in hand, and explain she’ll need to ask me nicely for it, which she does and I hand it over. She got a brand new water bottle last night which is in the bag for School, which she is now dragging and bouncing along the ground, I do try to stop by explaining her bottle will get ruined and also her biscuits for snack will break into bits. She takes the bottle out to inspect on the bus remaining she has intact scraped and dented it a bit and now she’s raging. The phrase “hell mend you” comes to mind. 

The joy as that bus pulls away heading for School.... Monday me time! 

X