Holiday joy
***STRONG LANGUAGE ***
Do not continue if you’re easily offended.
It’s the summer holidays. In theory, you should be filled with joy at spending the next six weeks with your little darlings. Long lies, days at the beach and lots of other super, dooper fun activities.
It’s lies. All lies.
Long lies. So the nights are longer, and, what the hell? It’s the holidays! Let them out a bit later, no need to be up in the morning, we can have a long lie! You think to yourself “ok so she normally goes to bed at 8, and gets up at 7 (after having Being up 4 times through the night) so in theory, if she stays up until 10 then she’ll not get up until 9; 2 hours extra. Should work, right? Bull. Shit. We’ve had late nights the last 3 nights and instead of the blissful long lie that is so much deserved it’s a 6am wake up call from little Missy. Every damn morning.
The beach is a lovely idea I think! Some blankets to lie on, some snacks and a wee paddle. Instead it’s a constant worry that she wanders out of sight and goes for a swim herself. The paddle ends up with missy spotting friends and attempting to go much further than her actual height and then almost standing on a jelly fish which she then decides TO POKE WITH HER FINGERS.
After the beach is always fun too. Cause who doesn’t love taking half of the bastarding sand back home in the car? Ah, the summer holidays!!
Went out to work on Saturday night and arrived home to chewing gum stuck in the hair; yet another clump that needed to be removed by the way of chopping it off . Again.
MYTH: A wee trip to the city!! Round the shops and a fun day out.
REALITY: 3 1/2 hour diverted journey in the car which is approximately 960000•C and a grouchy, tired 5 year old (cause she was up at stupid o’clock) who needs to pee every 3 miles. A quick stop for a toilet break thinks I! Pffft! That’ll be shining!! A half hour round of what I can only describe as a remake of supermarket-fucking-sweep trying to scoop as much shit into the basket as possible. I just wanted a pee and a coffee to stop myself falling asleep at the wheel after having had next to no sleep and an early morning.
Back on the road. Missy has her heart set on a toy and that’s the first thing we’re going to do because “I’ll be quiet if I get my toy first.” Am I actually thick?! We get the toy and she continues to moan that she’s now bored and still wants everything else she sees in every shop.
Dropping somebody off at the airport for a flight at 8.20 so I think 7 is a good time to drop them off. It’s before 6 and we pop to Frankie and bennies for something quick to eat. Turns out the stuff in there were on a bloody go slow and we didn’t get our main courses until 7.05pm! My stress levels are now trough the roof and I’m having to step outside for fresh air which I don’t get because of said earlier temperatures. I’m having palpitations. We eventually get to the airport at 7.30 and they managed to board the plane thankfully.
Today it’s off on “holiday” to a beautiful island in the outer Hebrides. Although 5 hours on the boat with 2 five year olds should be interesting! I’ll let you know tomorrow!
Enjoy the next 6 weeks folks!
Do not continue if you’re easily offended.
It’s the summer holidays. In theory, you should be filled with joy at spending the next six weeks with your little darlings. Long lies, days at the beach and lots of other super, dooper fun activities.
It’s lies. All lies.
Long lies. So the nights are longer, and, what the hell? It’s the holidays! Let them out a bit later, no need to be up in the morning, we can have a long lie! You think to yourself “ok so she normally goes to bed at 8, and gets up at 7 (after having Being up 4 times through the night) so in theory, if she stays up until 10 then she’ll not get up until 9; 2 hours extra. Should work, right? Bull. Shit. We’ve had late nights the last 3 nights and instead of the blissful long lie that is so much deserved it’s a 6am wake up call from little Missy. Every damn morning.
The beach is a lovely idea I think! Some blankets to lie on, some snacks and a wee paddle. Instead it’s a constant worry that she wanders out of sight and goes for a swim herself. The paddle ends up with missy spotting friends and attempting to go much further than her actual height and then almost standing on a jelly fish which she then decides TO POKE WITH HER FINGERS.
After the beach is always fun too. Cause who doesn’t love taking half of the bastarding sand back home in the car? Ah, the summer holidays!!
Went out to work on Saturday night and arrived home to chewing gum stuck in the hair; yet another clump that needed to be removed by the way of chopping it off . Again.
MYTH: A wee trip to the city!! Round the shops and a fun day out.
REALITY: 3 1/2 hour diverted journey in the car which is approximately 960000•C and a grouchy, tired 5 year old (cause she was up at stupid o’clock) who needs to pee every 3 miles. A quick stop for a toilet break thinks I! Pffft! That’ll be shining!! A half hour round of what I can only describe as a remake of supermarket-fucking-sweep trying to scoop as much shit into the basket as possible. I just wanted a pee and a coffee to stop myself falling asleep at the wheel after having had next to no sleep and an early morning.
Back on the road. Missy has her heart set on a toy and that’s the first thing we’re going to do because “I’ll be quiet if I get my toy first.” Am I actually thick?! We get the toy and she continues to moan that she’s now bored and still wants everything else she sees in every shop.
Dropping somebody off at the airport for a flight at 8.20 so I think 7 is a good time to drop them off. It’s before 6 and we pop to Frankie and bennies for something quick to eat. Turns out the stuff in there were on a bloody go slow and we didn’t get our main courses until 7.05pm! My stress levels are now trough the roof and I’m having to step outside for fresh air which I don’t get because of said earlier temperatures. I’m having palpitations. We eventually get to the airport at 7.30 and they managed to board the plane thankfully.
Today it’s off on “holiday” to a beautiful island in the outer Hebrides. Although 5 hours on the boat with 2 five year olds should be interesting! I’ll let you know tomorrow!
Enjoy the next 6 weeks folks!
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